I don't understand

I don't understand why you say one thing and do another.

I don't understand why you say things yet don't seem to mean them.

I don't understand why you say you could do with a friend yet reject my hand of friendship everytime.

I don't understand why I love you!

Eris semper in corde meo

Warning! Todays forecast calls for blue skies.

Sun is shining in the sky; there aint a cloud in sight, it's stopped raining
Everybody's in the play
And don't you know it's a beautiful new day,
Running down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly
In the city,
On the streets where once was pity
Mr. Blue Sky is living here today,

Mr.Blue Sky, please tell us why, you had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?
Mr.Blue Sky, please tell us why, you had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?

Hey, you, with the pretty face welcome to the human race
A celebration
Mr. Blue Sky's up there waiting
And today is the day we've waited for

Mr.Blue Sky, please tell us why, you had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?

Hey, there, Mr. Blue, we're so pleased to be with you,
Look around, see what you do, everybody smiles at you
Hey, there, Mr. Blue, we're so pleased to be with you,
Look around, see what you do, everybody smiles at you

Mr. Blue Sky

Mr. Blue, you'll get it right, but soon comes Mr. Night,
Creepin' over, now his hand is on your shoulder,
Nevermind, I'll remember you this, I'll remember you this way

Mr.Blue Sky, please tell us why, you had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?
Hey, there, Mr. Blue, we're so pleased to be with you,
Look around, see what you do, everybody smiles at you.

Thank You and Goodbye

Thank you to all of you who have left kind messages here and on the blogs. Your words of comfort and support after the sudden and tragic death of my dad really did mean alot.


BlogBelieve used to be an amazing place that I felt honoured to be a part of.
But where is that magic now? Where is the tolerance, respect, understanding and friendship that made it so special?

My part has only ever been, at best, small. I don't draw, paint, write poems and stories or offer any profound words. I have tried so hard to be part of it and the 'family' but it seems like I have little, or nothing, to offer and in recent months it has got me down and made me feel that I am insignificant and unimportant.
After recent events I just don't have the heart to do it anymore. And I certainly don't have the heart to read endless arguments and fighting.

Life is too short!

It has been an extraordinary few months; both good and bad, fun and sad.
So, I will end this post as I began it.....with a Thank You.

Stop all the clocks

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Last Time

I think I may have been miss-understood a little by some. I was trying to be very diplomatic and not add any fuel to already burning fires.
I was pissed off that someone who, so obviously upset, was rounded on like that.
It clearly wasn’t done to upset SS; it wasn’t written nastily. Subsequent anonymous’ who joined in WERE but them. How were they to know he was lurking; any other time it would have been ignored.
Why the panic and witch hunt?

Wasn’t SS upset that someone felt that way NOT that they said it!?!?

What about the person who was already clearly upset; whose identity, emotional and mental state we know nothing about? Hanging by a rope in a doorway while we panic that we won’t get to speak to someone anymore?
Okay, bit dramatic maybe…..but come on guys!

We’ve ended up with something amazing here……..let’s stop destroying it.

I actually find the stampedes and the vying for the attention of Mayo and SS bloody hilarious. (Well, except when my dad’s being an arse over the phone, I’ve had no sleep, someone dies and I’ve got my period. I think it may have been a full moon too!)

If that’s what floats your boat carry on. But:

Let’s remember that there are those who don’t have the talents in the areas that Mayo and SS seem to appreciate who want to feel involved too. I’ve seen people saying they need to get a grip and stop being jealous…..are they? God, how many people have posted at Mayo’s or on their blogs about situations when they’ve felt left out for being different? Wasn’t it once said that we all came together because we were all different! Have we, maybe, created a blog version of ‘cool kids’ and those who sit and eat their lunch alone? Has is it just solely become the men with the blogs and impressing them?

Maybe we all need to have a think about everything that’s gone on lately and what was once special about these blogs!

Dirty Laundry

I am not posting this at Mayo’s as enough dirty laundry has been aired there.
I was around when the original anon from yesterday was and I’m sorry but it did seem like a regular who was hurting and I know many have privately expressed similar feelings and I felt for them. It isn’t the first time these feelings have been posted. I don’t believe that initial anon meant it as a personal attack but a cry for help and I don’t believe they were there the subsequent ones.

There are people who just like to come here to read Mayo, comment to him and SS and are happy just to take their usual seat and chat to friends. Yeah, they'd like to be recognised, there isn't anyone who could say they wouldn't, but they don't seek it and are genuinely happy when others are.

There are people who couldn't care less and only come to chat.

There are people who in recent weeks, it seems, have turned this blog into a competition for attention. There is a clamouring to be seen that leaves many pushed, shoved and elbowed out of the way and trampled underfoot. Isn’t is THIS that makes people feel left out and feeling sad at being railroaded and pushed aside by their friends? Shouldn’t we be concerned that someone ‘may’ feel like that? When did we stop picking up those that fell down? When did gaining attention become more important than our friends/ 'family members' feelings?

If anyone expresses these feelings they are attacked. The fact that regulars may feel they can't post how they feel under their name saddens me.
Being called chicken-shit, asses; told they need psychiatric help??
Or they are called attention-seekers. And this is often by the very ones that have been doing the trampling.

I'm appalled and sickened.

SS is clearly and understandably upset that people may feel this way; so upset that he felt the need to take down the lovely gestures he’s made. But it’s through no fault of his own, or Mayo’s. I believe they’re intentions were always good and it is us who have made it shitty by creating these feelings of lack of importance and ‘favourites’ ourselves. Maybe it is the way we deal with attention and not the attention itself that is the problem here. It makes me sad, too!


I see the OP's were getting attacked for a comment they made about an e-mail they'd received. Claims that this was attention seeking by someone anonymously. Who are you to judge a private conversation and a friends support?
Actually it was an e-mail about things going on in someone's life and a particularly bad day they'd had; Me.

I don't post details of my life much on the blogs. I choose not too. I do talk about it privately with some of the friends I have made here and am grateful for the support they've given me.
This last six months have been the worst ever and the nightmare situation with my family is getting worse.
That night I had been dealing with some of what's become daily shit, plus I was on-call and was going backwards and forwards to work all night.
At 5 a.m. I was at work waiting for an emergency that was being transferred from another hospital. To pass the time I thought I'd lurk here and found a brand new post and not many people around. Being very rarely around when Mayo posts I risked the wrath of the internet policy to say hello and ask how he was but seemed to be the only one not to get a response. I had a call to say the patient had arrived then and had to leave. Three quarters of an hour and a blur of activity later the night was topped by the death of the patient and we all stood kind of stunned for a while.
Walking across the car park the tears flowed and yeah the only thing I could think was 'Why was I ignored?' We also discussed how bizarre it is that when things are shitty it’s always something small, stupid and often misinterpreted like that that actually sets you off.
The OP’s and MissT posted out of concern for friends. But shouldn’t we all have the same concern for this person and other’s who have posted similar things? Okay, there were factors influencing my emotional instability that night (including the, you know….hot water bottle, please!) but I discovered how it felt that night and it wasn’t nice.

I have been referred to as an attention seeker. By writing a private e-mail? Would attention-seeking not have been posting it on the blog? Ooh I just did, little old attention seeker me!

When did we start attacking without knowing facts?
When did we lose respect for others feelings and opinions?
When did it stop being ’all about the love’?

BlogBelieve? BlogDisbelieve!!!

We’re destroying this ourselves!

Hold the Mayo!

The second Mayo meeting; the lovely MissyT and I out on the town.

Lots of fun and laughter and a real treat after recent weeks.

I can't really add to her awesome account as....well parts are are little hazy!

I hope we will do it again soon, thanks sweetie!